Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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