Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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