I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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