What a fucking waste of an outfit
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
