it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The power of my boobs compel you
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
