You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
