Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  wrong number but thanks

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  (443): shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten. (610): wrong number but thanks http://tfl.nu/9cua
  Replies (18) Good night (8199) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!

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  (813): for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?! http://tfl.nu/r22y
  Replies (51) Good night (6875) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.

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  (973): I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship. http://tfl.nu/z11g
  Replies (23) Good night (2163) Bad night (4873)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her

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  (414): i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her http://tfl.nu/iw7s
  Replies (13) Good night (1460) Bad night (4222)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Howd you meet this guy?

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.

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  (313): Howd you meet this guy? (612): I found him next to my pants on sunday morn. http://tfl.nu/y9t4
  Replies (6) Good night (6103) Bad night (2435)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.

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  (207): He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job. http://tfl.nu/muvn
  Replies (7) Good night (2367) Bad night (1317)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  What should I wear?

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar

  (206): View more from Washington

  I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."

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  (206): What should I wear? (808): Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar (206): I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys." http://tfl.nu/2bo9
  Replies (5) Good night (3493) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.

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  (620): Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians. http://tfl.nu/2mf6
  Replies (26) Good night (1219) Bad night (4420)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.

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  (608): I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos. http://tfl.nu/skqb
  Replies (1) Good night (1483) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.

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  (425): She had caution tape on her head and she blew me. http://tfl.nu/1dhj
  Replies (8) Good night (1628) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.

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  (819): I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex. http://tfl.nu/mg33
  Replies (8) Good night (2661) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"

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  (312): We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?" http://tfl.nu/n4cr
  Replies (10) Good night (802) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with

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  (905): I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with http://tfl.nu/izq7
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.

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  (847): As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from. http://tfl.nu/gvun
  Replies (0) Good night (638) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji

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  (201): I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji http://tfl.nu/f5is
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (256)

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