hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
