my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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