Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
