i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
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