He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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