It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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