i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
