Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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