My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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