If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
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You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
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Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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