...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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