A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
