i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
