it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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