the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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