that's an acceptable place to lick
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
