your thong is hanging out like whoa
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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