I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
