Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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