I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
