Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
