Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She needs sedatives and a leash
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
