Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
