Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
