Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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