ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We named our party play list daddy issues
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
