He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
