1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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