Duck Duck Cougar?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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