What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
