If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Do vagina's smell?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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