what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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