He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
