Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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