its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
