the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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