Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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