just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
