i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
