You can't special order awesome
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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