why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
