oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
