Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
