I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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