PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
