so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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