Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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