i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
