You work out of a Hotel?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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