i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
