Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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