I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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