On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
it glows. i had to have it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
