What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
