the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize