Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
