that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
